They say professional golf is an equal opportunity sport. They are liars.
They say any great golfer can win the Masters. They are wrong. The proof is in front of me now, on the 13th fairway at Augusta National, attempting to walk briskly to his ball, taking a painful detour through middle age. Fred Couples stops, twists his back to the right, winces, twists his back to the left, winces, starts walking again, twisting, wincing, walking.
Could he hold up?
No, of course not.
A day after becoming the oldest man to the lead the Masters after one round, Couples, 50, became the latest older man to crumble here. Hours after beginning his second round with a second-hole birdie, Couples finished it with three consecutive bogeys.
A short putt on No. 16 was long. A short putt on No. 17 was wide. An average putt on No. 18 was pulled. A 6-under par became a 3-under par. First place became a tie for ninth.
The cheers that greeted him coming down the final fairway were reduced to scattered sympathetic claps, then nothing. The man who regally stalked this course a day earlier suddenly looked stooped and slow.
Later he stood in front of a thin rope and answered the thinnest of questions from a handful of reporters.
"As soon as I get home and lay down I'll be fine," Couples said. "But right now I'm tired and [angry], to be honest with you."
He was not alone. Others were feeling the same way after placing their hope for this Tiger-tied tournament in Couples' everyman hands.
C'mon, Couples could have won this, right? He was outhitting the younger guys. On a course where he won in 1992, he was outthinking nearly everyone else. Sure, he would be the oldest man to win a Masters by four years, but Tom Watson nearly won the British Open last year at 59. Couples could pull it off here, couldn't he?
"To win Augusta at age 50 would be a pipe dream," he smilingly admitted after his first round.
He knew. The rest of us soon learned. Sure enough, on a clear, chilly Friday, the pipe burst.
"For older guys here, it's just not easy," said his playing partner Sergio Garcia. "They're not as strong. This takes a lot out of them."
On Friday, age first took it out of his back.
Couples long has struggled with back problems and has lately started playing with tennis shoes and no socks. But on Friday the ground was still wet from Thursday night's rain, so he wore spikes and spent the day wincing and stretching in apparent pain.
"For a while I felt like I could go from first to last," he said of the back.
Then, as it usually does, age took it out of his short game.
He missed par putts late, birdie putts early, and truly showed his age on the final hole when, sitting on the fringe of the green, he hit an easier-to-control putter instead of a wedge. It was a wrong club choice, but he had no choice. The shot was duffed, setting up a par putt that was missed.
"Kind of not a whole lot of fun at the moment," Couples said. But that's the way it is."
Indeed it is, the tournament led by thirtysomethings Lee Westwood and Ian Poulter, Couples now sitting in the distance with another guy who struggled over par Friday, Watson.
They are in consecutive pairings Saturday, 110 years worth of hope against hope, the Pipe Dream team.
They say any great golfer can win the Masters. They are wrong. The proof is in front of me now, on the 13th fairway at Augusta National, attempting to walk briskly to his ball, taking a painful detour through middle age. Fred Couples stops, twists his back to the right, winces, twists his back to the left, winces, starts walking again, twisting, wincing, walking.
Could he hold up?
No, of course not.
A day after becoming the oldest man to the lead the Masters after one round, Couples, 50, became the latest older man to crumble here. Hours after beginning his second round with a second-hole birdie, Couples finished it with three consecutive bogeys.
A short putt on No. 16 was long. A short putt on No. 17 was wide. An average putt on No. 18 was pulled. A 6-under par became a 3-under par. First place became a tie for ninth.
The cheers that greeted him coming down the final fairway were reduced to scattered sympathetic claps, then nothing. The man who regally stalked this course a day earlier suddenly looked stooped and slow.
Later he stood in front of a thin rope and answered the thinnest of questions from a handful of reporters.
"As soon as I get home and lay down I'll be fine," Couples said. "But right now I'm tired and [angry], to be honest with you."
He was not alone. Others were feeling the same way after placing their hope for this Tiger-tied tournament in Couples' everyman hands.
C'mon, Couples could have won this, right? He was outhitting the younger guys. On a course where he won in 1992, he was outthinking nearly everyone else. Sure, he would be the oldest man to win a Masters by four years, but Tom Watson nearly won the British Open last year at 59. Couples could pull it off here, couldn't he?
"To win Augusta at age 50 would be a pipe dream," he smilingly admitted after his first round.
He knew. The rest of us soon learned. Sure enough, on a clear, chilly Friday, the pipe burst.
"For older guys here, it's just not easy," said his playing partner Sergio Garcia. "They're not as strong. This takes a lot out of them."
On Friday, age first took it out of his back.
Couples long has struggled with back problems and has lately started playing with tennis shoes and no socks. But on Friday the ground was still wet from Thursday night's rain, so he wore spikes and spent the day wincing and stretching in apparent pain.
"For a while I felt like I could go from first to last," he said of the back.
Then, as it usually does, age took it out of his short game.
He missed par putts late, birdie putts early, and truly showed his age on the final hole when, sitting on the fringe of the green, he hit an easier-to-control putter instead of a wedge. It was a wrong club choice, but he had no choice. The shot was duffed, setting up a par putt that was missed.
"Kind of not a whole lot of fun at the moment," Couples said. But that's the way it is."
Indeed it is, the tournament led by thirtysomethings Lee Westwood and Ian Poulter, Couples now sitting in the distance with another guy who struggled over par Friday, Watson.
They are in consecutive pairings Saturday, 110 years worth of hope against hope, the Pipe Dream team.
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